Barbara Waldron

Low sexual desire is such a widespread concern that even Oprah devoted a show to it and stated that it was a problem for 40 million women. In my practice I receive many calls from men as well. I want couples to know that there is a solution to this problem, and that they can have extraordinary desire for the one they love.

The solution is not based on technique. This Sexual intimacy starts with connecting with yourself first and then your partner and builds from there. The sexual relationship becomes the window of opportunity not only to create a thriving relationship, but also to heal the wounds that have interfered with intimacy. We now know that to create electricity in a relationship you need to focus on the emotional investment in your partner. This new-found passion is more than hormones. In fact it creates the hormones, and is independent of the age of the individuals. We have found that the ability to make this emotional investment requires a degree of maturity. Maturity comes from developing your inner beauty and great sex comes when both of you bring this inner beauty to the relationship. Those who are middle age and beyond are ripe for an impassioned sexual relationship.

This electricity can be found even in the problems within your marriage, and it is through working through these difficulties that you grow into your capacity for profound intimacy. Sometimes we may not even be aware that the relationship is static. You may be quite comfortable and feel that your sex is O.K. There is enough “charge” there to get the job done and perhaps satisfy those hormonal urges. This process will help you to go beyond yourself and approach the sacred in your intimate relationship.

Single people as well experience low sexual desire. Many are concerned with impotency. This process is for them as well, because ultimately it is an issue related to the self.

Of course this solution is not a quick fix, profound change does not happen over night, but intimacy happens when you begin to speak your truth; thus, you can begin today. We have a tendency to think that intimacy is this “peaceful” togetherness. Intimacy is about truth and thus your most intimate moments may not be so peaceful, and yet these moments will lead to a sweet peace beyond knowing. We all have the capacity to develop a passionate relationship founded on connection, desire and love. I invite you to explore the possibilities and begin learning how to create heartfelt, intimate relationships.

Barbara Waldron LCSW, Certified Coach, is an experienced therapist, coach and seminar leader. She currently has a live show called The Coach Stop on Portland Cable Access every other Saturday night at 7:00. This show is dedicated to helping people be most successful in their lives and relationships.